What Not To Do – dating 101 for men.
Being single again after being in a serious relationship is quite an interesting experience. You realize how much you’ve grown and changed – including your tastes, your attractions, your ways of meeting people, and definitely your boundaries…
If I were to have a dating 101 manual to guide me through all the times I’ve been a complete ass during my relationships and dating experiences…well, I was about to say that I’d be better off now, but really, my stories wouldn’t be half as entertaining.
So when you’re on a date or pursuing someone, when and why does it go downhill? When is that pivotal point where someone goes from the “have potential” pile to the “you’re a douchbag” pile? Usually there is a point when the interest level drops to absolute zero within a matter of seconds.
Since a little dating 101 is never a bad thing, I’m going to share a few tips and pointers for men when trying to attract a girl or get a date.
Here’s to “what not to do…”
When on a dinner date and your glass and my glass is empty, and there is enough water for one glass in the pitcher…do not pour all the water into your own cup. (if you are reading this and wondering if this was you, yes it is and now you know why I would never hang out with you again).
When trying to get me to respond on a dating site, do not get angry that I haven’t responded to your previous message and accuse me of being racist and only liking “white guys”.
If I met you at rave and thought you were the coolest thing and by the end of the night I couldn’t get away from you any faster, blame it on the love candy and not on my insensitivity.
If you are married and have a baby on the way, do not lie about your marital status, leave your own baby shower to take me for bento box and then accidentally leave your msn on for your wife to contact me.
If I make the effort to hang out at your place, you ask me to stay over and I say no, do not let me walk to my car at 1:00 am by myself while you’re perplexed about your non-action night.
Do not count a wad of cash wrapped in a rubber band while eating at Red Robins.
Do not tell me you have over 4 kids and think I’ll still want to make out with you.
Do not hit on me all night and then when I’m not looking, hit on my best friend. Girls tell each other everything. We talk…A LOT.
Probably should refrain from telling me you love me the first time we meet.
If you are an asian gangster with your shirt buttoned half down and carrying your signature LV man purse, do not tell your girlfriends to try to recruit me to hang out with you and your douchebag friends at the club. I can sense douchebag activity a mile away.
On a dating site, do not use any of the following usernames: “SpankYouVeryMuch”, “GreenEyesForYou” or “Daaa Money”.
I know these are recessionary times, but dude, do not ask me to hire you. Pitching while flirting doesn’t go well together.
Ok…that’s a handful of tips, I have more, but we’ll save those for a rainy day – and unfortunately, yes, all of the above are true experiences. Happy dating!
Oops, guilty as charged on multiple counts… Now I know better. Thanks – my $50 is in the mail!!!
OMG, I can’t believe the douche bags you’ve encountered. My one advice, do not do use those dating site like Plenty of Fish, or the phone date things or those rotate-a-dates. That is unless you are willing to go through a hundred douche bag to find one half decent person (guy or girl.)
Just do the things you like doing like hiking, museums, etc. and you have a better chance to find a friend who can become a date later.
It’s true…when you are not looking, he/she will appear.
I have a few to add as to what not to do:
Make sure you bathe and smell nice and not just cover up your stink with an overdose of cologne.
Don’t use coupons on your first meal together.
Chivalry is still alive, open doors, pull out the chair, etc.
Mzke sure the guy/girl has been out of a relationship for at least a year.
Don’t date the person because it boosts YOUR image.
If you want to meet someone decent, skip the clubs, bars and all those pretentious places.
Girls, don’t be high maintencance.
Overall, even if you’re dating a dweeb, just have a good time so you can make your grandkids laugh with these stories.
this is too funny! i love it and yes, i have had a few of these happen to me. Sorry to hear you dating experiences have not been all that good lately….but I thought you were staying single until after the summer time??
yep staying single…but still meeting people and open to new adventures! we should all compile our stories together!
I think that it is a very interesting and amusing article. Practically all its main points are true.