“Nobody said it was easy, No one ever said it would be this hard”

Last night I watched one of the most incredible performances I’ve ever seen by Coldplay. During the encore, they sang “The Scientist”. It was so beautiful I cried. If you listen to the lyrics carefully, they are very touching and share a very strong message about relationships.

Perseverance and commitment are two big themes that I’ve contemplated about this year.  In the last year,  I’ve explored being single again. I’ve met so many new people, established new friendships, strengthened old relationships, been on some good dates and some not so good. I have jumped into things quickly only to realize again that slowing down is really a better path. I have built walls-thick massive ones to guard my heart and am slowly learning again how to build bridges.  I have been loved, liked, rejected, hurt and charmed. Let’s not forget the Yaletown puma circuit and the variety of douchebags along the way too.  =P

But through it all, at this stage in my life, the next person that I commit to, I hope to build a lifetime with that person.  And while I have met men that may be smitten or attracted to me, I wonder if they have the devotion to persevere through the hard times. The times when I’m insecure and fragile, when I hurt and don’t have the energy to be a happy mood enhancer, when I’m inpatient and frustrated, when I trip and bruise because I’m such a klutz, when I lack basic life skills with anything that has to do with cars, appliances and meals that involve more than 5 ingredients, when I’m not pretty and have  zero sex appeal, when gravity takes force and I have wrinkles and a much larger dress size, when I’m emotionally drained and weak… will you still persevere?

Divorce rates are at phenomenal highs, and I’m sure that if you were to count the number of friends you have in healthy relationships, the ratio of unhealthy and unhappy ones would overrule. There are many reasons behind this, one being we are no longer marrying for survival, as many in our parents and grandparents generations did, divorce is a lot more attainable and accessible than it was ever before in history, and so forth. However, I think there is also a major shift in our generation’s culture and way of thinking in North America. We live in a consumerist society, where upgrading and striving for the next best thing is the norm and incredibly easy to obtain. We are also fanatics of instant gratification – and our everyday practices of speedy responses via email and text to a purchase or drug to feel some degree of a rush is a common occurrence. We like quick fixes and we want it fast and we want it now. And if you stop to really think about it, this everyday way of being transpires into the way we conduct and go about our relationships as well.

“Things” are disposable and unfortunately, this mentality has equated to people being disposable too. When it feels good, when all the right chemicals are reacting together to create a blissful, excited harmony, we are “happy” and some would say, “in love”. But when it stops bringing that pleasure, excitement, rush and fun, then the easy thing is to dispose and just get a new one, or cheat. Of course, I’m not saying everyone is like this, but I do feel many people go about “love” in this manner. This way isn’t necessarily wrong as that would depend on your personal value set and definitions, but for me, I don’t think it is rooted in reality, and practically speaking, it’s exhausting.

Relationships are hard, and true, loyal commitment is even harder. Sometimes you will feel like you are “stuck in reverse”…but if you say those words, “I love you…I can’t live my life without you…” those are powerful words that shouldn’t be treated lightly – they come with promise and faith. And while you may not have the feel good chemicals to push you through those hard times, hopefully your promise and strength will guide you to choose perseverance.

The Scientist

By Coldplay

Come up to meet you, tell you I’m sorry

You don’t know how lovely you are.

I had to find you, tell you I need you,

Tell you I set you apart.

Tell me your secrets and ask me your questions,

Oh lets go back to the start.

Running in circles, Comin’ up tails

Heads on a science apart.

Nobody said it was easy,

It’s such a shame for us to part.

Nobody said it was easy,

No one ever said it would be this hard.

Oh take me back to the start.

I was just guessin’ at numbers and figures,

Pulling the puzzles apart.

Questions of science, science and progress

Do not speak as loud as my heart.

And tell me you love me, come back and haunt me

Oh and I rush to the start.

Runnin’ in circles, Chasin’ tails

Comin’ back as we are

Nobody said it was easy,

Oh it’s such a shame for us to part.

Nobody said it was easy,

No one ever said it would be so hard.

---

Possibly related posts: (automatically generated)

• The festive season approaches.
• Five tournaments before Australian Open next year that may determine the ne…

~ by amyfabulous on June 22, 2009.